Week 16
I found out I was pregnant exactly ten weeks ago. My life has changed drastically in that short and sweet amount of time. My beloved partner and I had plans to move to Portland, Oregon and start the next chapter of our life together. The morning we rushed to the hospital I had a tattoo appointment- It was going to be a fragment from one of Theodore Roosevelt's diary's. He wrote this entry on the day his first wife, Alice, died. His mother passed away that same day. I don't want to imagine the sadness he felt. This sentence was supposed to remind me to take the good with the bad, that everything is beautiful and horrendous at the same time. There is no order without chaos, and no chaos without order.
I laugh at the thought of getting this on my body now. It is a beautiful sentence, but I have been gifted quite the opposite. A light has come into my life. A light that has given me hope, and my life meaning. It has been a difficult journey so far. I often feel alone, and unworthy to call myself a mother. I constantly worry about my unborn child. Will they love me? I cry over that night every night. I hope I am as great a light to them, as they are to me.
With this blog, I hope to share my fears and accomplishments. I want to have something to look back on. I want to document my growth as an individual. Here's to new beginnings.
